Helping Your Child Avoid the Pornography Trap - By; Dennis and Barbara Rainey
Developing your child’s convictions about pornography will take many different forms. We’ve gone to junior high and high school to talk to teachers who have asked our sons to read what would be rated R in movies. We’ve sought to expose pornography’s lies by talking about its impact on men like Ted Bundy. And we’ve taken our sons and daughters with us when we’ve gone to movie theaters to talk to theater managers and protest an NC-17 (formerly X-rated) movie that came to our community.
All of these actions and more can shape your child’s convictions and keep him out of the traps. In addition, there are two other convictions your child should learn and embrace.
Child’s Conviction 1: I understand that pornography is sin and can destroy my life and my future marriage and family.
You may wonder how much detail to share about pornography with a child without drifting toward prurience. A great guideline is to look at Scripture and see how the Lord warns us about certain things. He certainly doesn’t tell the whole story to provoke our carnality and flesh to sin. For example, in Proverbs we read this description of a woman to avoid: “For the lips of an adulteress drip honey, and smoother than oil is her speech” (5:3). That is not an explicit description of a prostitute propositioning someone, but it gets the point across.
When talking to a preteen or teen about pornography, you can explain that many people today look at pictures of naked women and men performing sexual activity, but none of this is pleasing to God. Pornography takes something that is beautiful when it occurs between a married man and woman and makes it dirty. At younger ages, say up to about 12, your child needs only to know that pornography isn’t good for him. He certainly doesn’t need details that would attract him.
Read all of the article at; http://www.familylife.com/site/apps/nlnet/content3.aspx?c=dnJHKLNnFoG&b=3576485&content_id={ED136FB8-8C7A-4772-8CB6-E9AAF59528BD}¬oc=1
Friday, November 21, 2008
Pornography!!!
Breaking Free From the Trap of Pornography - by: Dave Boehi
Note: In last week’s column, I discussed the temptations we face each day in our sexualized culture. You can’t avoid temptation, but you can control your response. I thought I’d finish the discussion about temptation by talking about breaking free from the trap of pornography, which is one of the most destructive enemies of marriages today. Even if you aren't dealing with this issue, the following (adapted from a longer article I wrote with Mike Pickle) provides valuable information you can use to counsel others.
Pornography takes something that is beautiful when it occurs between a married man and woman and makes it dirty. God created the act of sexual union as a special gift for a husband and wife. It is a celebration of love that strengthens a marriage and builds oneness.
But pornography twists and perverts the beauty and biblical design of God's creation. The focus on sensual pleasure becomes such a powerful drug that it destroys all that is important in the rest of their lives. It leads men and women to look at each other as nothing more than sex objects. It causes them to fantasize about sexual relationships with other people, and that's a terrible blow to their marital commitment.
If you want to break free from the sexual sin and lust fueled by pornography, the first thing you need to realize is that you can't do it in your own power. You need the presence of God in your life. In fact, if you have never understood what it means to be a Christian, and how you can know God personally, please read this clear presentation of the gospel. It will be the most important decision of your life.
If you know Christ lives within you, here are some suggested steps for dealing with the trap of pornography:
Step One: Confess Your Sin. When you try to keep such sin secret, your spirit will become increasingly troubled. As David wrote in Psalm 32:3-4: “When I kept silent about my sin, my body wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me; my vitality was drained away as with the fever heat of summer.”
On one hand, confession is simply agreeing with God about sin in your life. Jesus said in Matthew 5:28, "Everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart." When you look at those pictures or images to stimulate you sexually, you are committing adultery in your heart. When you confess this to the Lord, you simply say, "Yes, I was lusting after that woman. I sinned against You, Father."
You may be thinking, "I've done that. But nothing changed." That's because, when faced with a deep-rooted sin such as this—one that has involved numerous poor choices over a period of time—your confession must come with a broken heart that shows that you are repentant—ready to turn away from your sin.
Repentance means "to turn around." When you have a habit of sin in your life, it is like getting in a car and driving away from God. When you repent, you stop moving away from God and turn around to face Him, and through His power start moving toward Him again.
What does God do when you come to Him with an attitude of brokenness and repentance? He offers forgiveness and cleansing. 1 John 1:9 tells us, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." You may not be freed from the desire to commit this sin again, but you can be freed from the crushing weight of guilt and shame.
Step Two: Make no provision for the flesh (Romans 13:14). Not only should you remove every trace of pornography from your home or office, but you also should take practical steps to put barriers between you and any sources. If magazines or books are a temptation, stay away from the stores where you purchase pornography. If you've been watching erotic movies on cable or satellite television, downgrade your service to eliminate the offending channels … or get rid of the service altogether if necessary. When you travel start staying in hotels that can block or turn off the pay-per-view movies in a given room. Ask the desk clerk to do that before you enter your room.
If you are involved in computer porn, you may need to change your Internet service provider, your e-mail address, and even your credit card so that porn sites cannot contact you. Find a blocking or screening program or even an ISP that screens Web sites. If you have used a computer at the office to view pornography, then ask about getting a screening system for the office.
Move your computer into an open area of the house. Tell your wife or children to come and ask you what you are doing on the computer anytime they want to. You can also teach someone in your house to check the history in your Web browser.
Step Three: Find an accountability partner. Accountability is a scriptural principle that tells us to " ... be subject to one another in the fear of Christ" (Ephesians 5:21). This means you choose to submit your life to the scrutiny of another person in order to gain spiritual strength, growth and balance.
If you do not go to your pastor first, do so immediately after making open confession to the Lord. He is spiritually responsible to pray for you and teach you God's truth. If he is the man of God he should be, he will gladly pray for and with you, and exhort you in your spiritual growth.
Step Four: Build biblical truth into your life. If you've been filling your mind with pornographic images, chances are that you have not been spending much time reading God's Word. Begin spending time every day reading the Bible, chapter by chapter. Start with a book you like to read—the Gospel of John or the Gospel of Matthew. Read a chapter each day from Psalms and one from Proverbs. Also, seek out other opportunities—like Bible studies or conferences—to learn and apply God’s Word.
Step Five: Begin to rebuild your marriage. Your spouse may not be able to respond openly to you at first. But one thing you can start doing right now is to begin praying with him or her. It may be embarrassing, it may feel awkward, or it may even be frightening, but do it anyway. There are few things in a marriage that can draw you and your spouse together like prayer.
FamilyLife offers a number of conferences and resources to help you reduce the isolation you are experiencing in your marriage. Our Weekend to Remember™ conferences may be the best place to start the rebuilding process. At some point, you also should become involved in a small group using a study from HomeBuilders Couples Series®.We can help you find out if there is a group in your area of the country.
God will honor each small step of obedience you take. He has the power to change your heart … to help you experience the joy of a cleansed heart … to wash away your sin and guilt and shame … and to help you experience oneness again with your spouse.
Note: In last week’s column, I discussed the temptations we face each day in our sexualized culture. You can’t avoid temptation, but you can control your response. I thought I’d finish the discussion about temptation by talking about breaking free from the trap of pornography, which is one of the most destructive enemies of marriages today. Even if you aren't dealing with this issue, the following (adapted from a longer article I wrote with Mike Pickle) provides valuable information you can use to counsel others.
Pornography takes something that is beautiful when it occurs between a married man and woman and makes it dirty. God created the act of sexual union as a special gift for a husband and wife. It is a celebration of love that strengthens a marriage and builds oneness.
But pornography twists and perverts the beauty and biblical design of God's creation. The focus on sensual pleasure becomes such a powerful drug that it destroys all that is important in the rest of their lives. It leads men and women to look at each other as nothing more than sex objects. It causes them to fantasize about sexual relationships with other people, and that's a terrible blow to their marital commitment.
If you want to break free from the sexual sin and lust fueled by pornography, the first thing you need to realize is that you can't do it in your own power. You need the presence of God in your life. In fact, if you have never understood what it means to be a Christian, and how you can know God personally, please read this clear presentation of the gospel. It will be the most important decision of your life.
If you know Christ lives within you, here are some suggested steps for dealing with the trap of pornography:
Step One: Confess Your Sin. When you try to keep such sin secret, your spirit will become increasingly troubled. As David wrote in Psalm 32:3-4: “When I kept silent about my sin, my body wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me; my vitality was drained away as with the fever heat of summer.”
On one hand, confession is simply agreeing with God about sin in your life. Jesus said in Matthew 5:28, "Everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart." When you look at those pictures or images to stimulate you sexually, you are committing adultery in your heart. When you confess this to the Lord, you simply say, "Yes, I was lusting after that woman. I sinned against You, Father."
You may be thinking, "I've done that. But nothing changed." That's because, when faced with a deep-rooted sin such as this—one that has involved numerous poor choices over a period of time—your confession must come with a broken heart that shows that you are repentant—ready to turn away from your sin.
Repentance means "to turn around." When you have a habit of sin in your life, it is like getting in a car and driving away from God. When you repent, you stop moving away from God and turn around to face Him, and through His power start moving toward Him again.
What does God do when you come to Him with an attitude of brokenness and repentance? He offers forgiveness and cleansing. 1 John 1:9 tells us, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." You may not be freed from the desire to commit this sin again, but you can be freed from the crushing weight of guilt and shame.
Step Two: Make no provision for the flesh (Romans 13:14). Not only should you remove every trace of pornography from your home or office, but you also should take practical steps to put barriers between you and any sources. If magazines or books are a temptation, stay away from the stores where you purchase pornography. If you've been watching erotic movies on cable or satellite television, downgrade your service to eliminate the offending channels … or get rid of the service altogether if necessary. When you travel start staying in hotels that can block or turn off the pay-per-view movies in a given room. Ask the desk clerk to do that before you enter your room.
If you are involved in computer porn, you may need to change your Internet service provider, your e-mail address, and even your credit card so that porn sites cannot contact you. Find a blocking or screening program or even an ISP that screens Web sites. If you have used a computer at the office to view pornography, then ask about getting a screening system for the office.
Move your computer into an open area of the house. Tell your wife or children to come and ask you what you are doing on the computer anytime they want to. You can also teach someone in your house to check the history in your Web browser.
Step Three: Find an accountability partner. Accountability is a scriptural principle that tells us to " ... be subject to one another in the fear of Christ" (Ephesians 5:21). This means you choose to submit your life to the scrutiny of another person in order to gain spiritual strength, growth and balance.
If you do not go to your pastor first, do so immediately after making open confession to the Lord. He is spiritually responsible to pray for you and teach you God's truth. If he is the man of God he should be, he will gladly pray for and with you, and exhort you in your spiritual growth.
Step Four: Build biblical truth into your life. If you've been filling your mind with pornographic images, chances are that you have not been spending much time reading God's Word. Begin spending time every day reading the Bible, chapter by chapter. Start with a book you like to read—the Gospel of John or the Gospel of Matthew. Read a chapter each day from Psalms and one from Proverbs. Also, seek out other opportunities—like Bible studies or conferences—to learn and apply God’s Word.
Step Five: Begin to rebuild your marriage. Your spouse may not be able to respond openly to you at first. But one thing you can start doing right now is to begin praying with him or her. It may be embarrassing, it may feel awkward, or it may even be frightening, but do it anyway. There are few things in a marriage that can draw you and your spouse together like prayer.
FamilyLife offers a number of conferences and resources to help you reduce the isolation you are experiencing in your marriage. Our Weekend to Remember™ conferences may be the best place to start the rebuilding process. At some point, you also should become involved in a small group using a study from HomeBuilders Couples Series®.We can help you find out if there is a group in your area of the country.
God will honor each small step of obedience you take. He has the power to change your heart … to help you experience the joy of a cleansed heart … to wash away your sin and guilt and shame … and to help you experience oneness again with your spouse.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Do you know what is desperate!
Want to know how she feels and why she felt that way? Look up her blog at: http://jessalynn88.blogspot.com/Why Did God Created Moms
Why Did God Created Moms?
"God created moms to cook most of the time and to water the chickens," says Jed, 8.
Well, Jed, either you have some strange chickens, or your mom needs more farm experience. As for the cooking, let's hope your mom's chicken casserole contains poultry that someone has fed and not just watered.
"God created moms because they could go shopping while me and my dad go hunting," says Jacob, 7.
As a guy who hates to shop, that makes perfect sense to me. And while the guys are hunting, Mom will "teach girls about makeup," says Kristin, 10.
"He also created moms for girls to tell about problems we can't tell dads. Thank you, God, for creating moms."
As Kathryn, 12, says, "It's nice to be able to talk about things. I know because I have a mom."
Listening is important, but "moms were made to have fun with their kids," says Alex, 10. "You might think your mom is old, but really inside, she is a kid just like you," adds Kristen, 9.
Yes, you might be amazed that your mom likes to have fun, but even more amazing is that moms will love you even when you're not so much fun. "Moms will love you even if you fight a lot," says Adrienne, 10. "They are probably here so they can take care of their kids. But, that's just my guess."
Good guess, says Mallory, 7: "I think moms were made to hug you. I think that God made moms to kiss you, too. I think moms were made to fix your hair."
Not only are moms good for hugs and hair, but also hassles, says Beth, 9: "God created moms because we need somebody to get onto us and say things like, 'Clean up your room now!'"
Beth, you might consider what your mom does for you. J.T., 7, believes that "God made moms to do stuff without getting mad." In fact, "Moms do most of the dirty work around the house," adds observant Andrew, 10.
All right, let's get down to basics, says Justin, 9: "God created moms to give birth to people so that the earth's population will grow."
Remember, Mom was there in the beginning. You were kicking, screaming and making a mess in your diaper. Part of Mom's job is to remind you of your humble entrance into this world, says Stephen, 10: "God made moms to embarrass you in front of your friends. Moms are made to be there for you always, and you'll always be their baby."
So why do moms put up with us? Erica, 7, has the answer: "The Lord loves me so he made a person of love and faith to tackle the job of me, and that is my mom. She loves me so much. I am her love of love."
Nick, 7, says it another way: "God made moms so they could be like God."
"God created moms to cook most of the time and to water the chickens," says Jed, 8.
Well, Jed, either you have some strange chickens, or your mom needs more farm experience. As for the cooking, let's hope your mom's chicken casserole contains poultry that someone has fed and not just watered.
"God created moms because they could go shopping while me and my dad go hunting," says Jacob, 7.
As a guy who hates to shop, that makes perfect sense to me. And while the guys are hunting, Mom will "teach girls about makeup," says Kristin, 10.
"He also created moms for girls to tell about problems we can't tell dads. Thank you, God, for creating moms."
As Kathryn, 12, says, "It's nice to be able to talk about things. I know because I have a mom."
Listening is important, but "moms were made to have fun with their kids," says Alex, 10. "You might think your mom is old, but really inside, she is a kid just like you," adds Kristen, 9.
Yes, you might be amazed that your mom likes to have fun, but even more amazing is that moms will love you even when you're not so much fun. "Moms will love you even if you fight a lot," says Adrienne, 10. "They are probably here so they can take care of their kids. But, that's just my guess."
Good guess, says Mallory, 7: "I think moms were made to hug you. I think that God made moms to kiss you, too. I think moms were made to fix your hair."
Not only are moms good for hugs and hair, but also hassles, says Beth, 9: "God created moms because we need somebody to get onto us and say things like, 'Clean up your room now!'"
Beth, you might consider what your mom does for you. J.T., 7, believes that "God made moms to do stuff without getting mad." In fact, "Moms do most of the dirty work around the house," adds observant Andrew, 10.
All right, let's get down to basics, says Justin, 9: "God created moms to give birth to people so that the earth's population will grow."
Remember, Mom was there in the beginning. You were kicking, screaming and making a mess in your diaper. Part of Mom's job is to remind you of your humble entrance into this world, says Stephen, 10: "God made moms to embarrass you in front of your friends. Moms are made to be there for you always, and you'll always be their baby."
So why do moms put up with us? Erica, 7, has the answer: "The Lord loves me so he made a person of love and faith to tackle the job of me, and that is my mom. She loves me so much. I am her love of love."
Nick, 7, says it another way: "God made moms so they could be like God."
I am a Father! Doesn't AnyOne Care!
Do U sometimes feel like you are just a "paycheck" to your family, DAD!
I entered the house and heard the sounds of voices engaged in a friendly game of cards. My wife and kids were sprawled out on the floor of the family room, and they were oblivious to my arrival.
“Hi guys!” I yelled. There was no answer. “Hi there!” I tried again. “You can’t use that card!” I heard my daughter shriek.Then the thoughts started to come. “I’m invisible to them!” I told myself. “All the stuff I do around here, and does anybody notice it? I’m working my tail off again, and they’re in here playing!” As I went downstairs, I took along some heavy baggage with me.
Fathers go through periods when they feel “outside” of their family. They feel neglected, or they feel invisible. Or, they feel like they’re just a “paycheck” to their families. But what’s really happened is they’ve forgotten they’re not on this planet to “get” love from their family members.
Read more at: http://www.christianfathers.com/father-left-out.htm
I entered the house and heard the sounds of voices engaged in a friendly game of cards. My wife and kids were sprawled out on the floor of the family room, and they were oblivious to my arrival.
“Hi guys!” I yelled. There was no answer. “Hi there!” I tried again. “You can’t use that card!” I heard my daughter shriek.Then the thoughts started to come. “I’m invisible to them!” I told myself. “All the stuff I do around here, and does anybody notice it? I’m working my tail off again, and they’re in here playing!” As I went downstairs, I took along some heavy baggage with me.
Fathers go through periods when they feel “outside” of their family. They feel neglected, or they feel invisible. Or, they feel like they’re just a “paycheck” to their families. But what’s really happened is they’ve forgotten they’re not on this planet to “get” love from their family members.
Read more at: http://www.christianfathers.com/father-left-out.htm
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Jeremy & Jessalynn & Joey doing Battle nOw!
The following 3 photo describe Jeremy b4 his SPM.
This is how Jeremy looks like while doing his SPM now. He just finished his BM, English and History. Please cover him in prayers ok. Thanks.
Next is Jessalynn. Finishing her last 2 paper this week and next Monday and she completes 1 semester.....
Her best way to concentrate...I wonder how your kids behave before major exams! I do not have Joey's photo taken b4 exam. But I was with him this last week while I was in Kota Kinabalu. For Joey, after a stressful preparation, he would suggest we go watch James Bond, which we did. That was his way of de-stressing. He told me he will de-stressed by causing himself to be fully "Distracted" by something else. So, much so that his mind actually forgets about his study stress and attracted to this something else. So, for a while, he is not even thinking of exams, studies, and after that he comes back more fresh and ready to continue. Joey finishes he exam by Nov 23. What method is that?
I got a shock when I came back home before Hari Raya time to see Jeremy in his new hairstyle. I was wondering if he could get to school after Hari Raya Holiday without being called in to office of the Principle. But Jeremy told me to relax as it was just for 1 week fun and he cut his hair before school resume to the next photo.
This is how Jeremy looks like while doing his SPM now. He just finished his BM, English and History. Please cover him in prayers ok. Thanks.
Next is Jessalynn. Finishing her last 2 paper this week and next Monday and she completes 1 semester.....
Her best way to concentrate...I wonder how your kids behave before major exams! I do not have Joey's photo taken b4 exam. But I was with him this last week while I was in Kota Kinabalu. For Joey, after a stressful preparation, he would suggest we go watch James Bond, which we did. That was his way of de-stressing. He told me he will de-stressed by causing himself to be fully "Distracted" by something else. So, much so that his mind actually forgets about his study stress and attracted to this something else. So, for a while, he is not even thinking of exams, studies, and after that he comes back more fresh and ready to continue. Joey finishes he exam by Nov 23. What method is that?
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i-youth - Life Worth Living Seminar
Living to tell life is still worth living because of Jesus. Lee Chin was totally disfigured in an acid attack, contemplated suicide several time but found Christ and because of Jesus, she lives to tell others Life is Worth Living. Li Chin recently spoke to more than 10,000 people in partnership with Campus Crusade's i-youth, in Kuching
I-youth Venture 2008
giving 3 months of your life, March to May every year. From Left: Joyce, from Klang. Jessalynn, local JB gal, Jared - Klang, all 3 have completed STPM, got their result, applied for Local University and finally, Jocelyn from Perlis who have also completed SPM and planning to pursue Study in a Private College.
