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It’s useful to remember that our kids are not to be controlled. They are to be guided and led, but not controlled. This impatience and desire to control can lead many fathers to an emotional disconnect with their kids. And while many fathers have an acute awareness of this issue, they convince themselves that it can’t be helped. Read the whole article at: http://www.christianfathers.com/controlling-parent.htm
Being an at home parent may be the best job you’ll ever get, but it’s HARD. You’re on call 24/7, and when you go on vacation, you still have the same responsibilities. And if you have a home business or work at home job, life can be even more challenging. The first step to coping with burnout is preventing it in the first place. Don’t overfill your schedule with activities for the kids or yourself. Take a little time for yourself every day. You don’t need to be alone, but you do need to relax a little. Whether this may be during the kids’ naps or when they’re in school, even taking just a few minutes for you can really help. Then you can take advantage of the time to get things done with a clear head. Make sure your expectations and those of your family are realistic. If you’re running a home business or have a work at home job, you can’t be expected to keep as perfect a house as a mother who does not. Pick a day to do the laundry, the vacuuming and other housework that doesn’t need to be done on a daily basis and leave it until then… unless the urgent need arises, of course. When you get angry, don’t consider yourself an imperfect or bad parent. We all get angry sometimes. What is more important is how you react to the anger.
Make sure you get enough sleep. The more tired you are, the more stress you are going to feel, and the harder it will be to cope with it. If necessary, take a nap at the same time as the kids do, so they’re not getting into trouble for lack of supervision. Plan fun activities once in a while to relieve stress. Depending on your needs and the needs of your family, this can be alone or with the entire family. Go to the beach, a park, zoo, mall, wherever it is you can relax and just have fun. Consider planning or even cooking meals and snacks in advance. It’s easy to give your children healthy snacks if you have sliced vegetables and/or fruits ready to go in the fridge. A few minutes’ work early in the week can save you time. Meals may also be prepared in advance and frozen for those nights when you’re simply too tired to cook. Plan your meals for leftovers that will freeze well, and say goodbye to expensive frozen dinners from the grocery store. If writing out your schedule helps you, then keep a written schedule. If it makes you feel overwhelmed, then don’t. Just because your best friend says it keeps her on schedule to have a calendar with everything she needs to do on it doesn’t mean the same will work for you. Finally, don’t let other parents make you feel you owe them favors just because you’re at home and “have time.” You’re doing a full time job taking care of your family, not just loafing. Your schedule may be just as full as theirs, if not more so.
In today’s activity-packed society, it’s more important than ever to intentionally connect with your kids. Here are 10 ideas that can help you get to know your children better and pass on a legacy of faith and fun.1. During dinner ask everyone to share one piece of both good news and bad news from the day. 2. Have regular “Kids’ Nights to Cook.” Set up a restaurant atmosphere in your home and create some lifetime memories. Little ones will enjoy decorating the table and making special menus for the evening.3. Visit a local bookstore with your children and ask them to help you choose a family devotional. Then work through it together. 4. If you have a sports enthusiast in your home, ask him or her to give you and your spouse regular updates about what’s going on in the world of sports—both locally and nationally.5. Do a one-on-one activity with each child at least once a week.6. Take turns choosing Bible verses that the entire family can memorize together. Using a special journal or notebook, ask the children to record each verse after the family has memorized it together. 7. Once a week after mealtime, draw names to see who will be in the “hot seat.” (Discard each name after it is drawn so everybody will eventually be chosen.) Family members will ask the person in the “hot seat” a question that cannot be answered “Yes” or “No.”8. When bringing the kids to school, take turns being prayer warriors—praying for each person’s day.9. After dinner, rotate sharing a “joke of the day.” 10. Have regular family nights doing something fun that everyone enjoys
(front seated, left to right, Evon Lim - Goddaughter's daughter, Grandma (my Mother) 70, Jessalynn Koh.Back row from left - Benson Koh, my younger brother's son, Joey Koh. Jeremy Koh, Lim Ah Chun, Marcus Lim and his girlfriend Chao Yan. Not in Picture is my brother's youngest son Jonathan Koh.All here to say hello to you. Pray that they will all walk with Jesus the rest of their lives.
We were in Borneo Highland next to the border of Sarawak and Kalimantan for a retreat recently. The photo was taken at 3200+ feet above sea level which we scaled. 3 of us behind the notice were standing on Kalimantan side where as the guy sitting on the fence and the other 2 standing next to the sign board are still in M'sia side.
